Last night I had a very weird and detailed dream that I recalled on waking this morning: I was living back in Manhattan with Michael. He and I had recently come to an end on our apartment lease and were looking for a new place to live. We took a cab at around 3PM in the afternoon uptown to take a look at a potential apartment. I recall the time because I had a meeting at work one hour later which included colleagues who were coming in from out of town. We got to the apartment building and there were three other couples who were also taking a tour of the apartments (there were three of them in the building). The apartments were unimpressive and needed some TLC. They were also very small, even by New York City standards. The Realtor then told us all that there was a small house that sat on the property behind the duplex. We all went to that building and took a look around. I loved it and was totally impressed. Michael was not impressed and we argued a bit about whether it was the right place for us.

Suddenly I realized that there was only five minutes before the meeting I needed to be at for work. Michael and I jumped into a cab immediately and I started frantically calling work and was able to reach my boss. The signal kept dropping, though. After several text messages, I finally was able to let her know that I was on my way. She said that I should stay overnight close to the office at a hotel so that I wouldn’t have to travel back to the city after the meetings (since they were going to run late). I told her that I wasn’t planning to stay over (as I didn’t have clothes packed, etc), and she responded by saying “it’s just a suggestion”. I could tell in her response, though, that she wanted me to stay.

The next thing I recall is being in the cab and hearing a bang. I realized that we had hit a deer on the West Side highway. The deer seemed to run into a field heading East. Michael and I jumped out of the cab (as it stopped quickly after hitting it). I was concerned about the deer’s health and started to chase after it to make sure it was ok. I realized within a few moments that there were more than one deer in the field and I was trying very hard to keep my eyes focused on the right one. I finally caught up to one of the deer (although it turned out to be the wrong one) and tackled it to the ground. I saw the deer turn it’s very large head at me and take a big bite into my arm. It was very painful and I immediately pulled away and began running to Michael.

Michael said that we must immediately get to the hospital as the deer may have rabies or some other disease. We got back into the cab and rushed to the ER. I feared for my life. I awoke.

I had a very vivid dream this morning. I was in the car with both of my parents and my mother was telling me how horrible of a child I was. I kept trying to argue back at her, but each time I did my father would interject something to shut me down. We arrived at home and for some reason we parked the car in our neighbors driveway. I then realized that my son Zac was with us and he was getting ready to follow them into the house. I decided I couldn’t take it anymore and grabbed my bag of belongings from the trunk and told them I was leaving home. I took Zac in my hand, but my mother kept yelling at me that she wasn’t going to let Zac go with me. I then awoke at 5:40AM.

The simple back story (without giving too much away) that I can attribute to the meaning of the dream: first, my mother and I had a very strained relationship. She was a very controlling individual which came to a head between my 14-18 years of age. I sometimes felt that my father would allow her to go overboard and I looked to him to calm her down when she became irrational (which was practically daily). To his credit, he did try at times, but it took a great deal of energy out of him. As for the part about Zac, I’m not really sure how that fits into the dream. Perhaps I’m afraid that as he becomes a teen he will depend on me less and that I will feel some sense of control leave me (as I assume my mother did). Fortunately I am not anywhere near as controlling (or irrational) as she was and will probably find the transition to be less difficult.

I had a horrible nightmare last night.  I was in some unknown city on a small boat making my way around and I found myself “on the wrong side of the tracks.”  I was looking for a way back to the other side of the city I wanted to be on, but the current of the canal I was on was too strong to row against.  Someone suggested a small underground stair passage to take to get back.  I followed the instructions and got back.  I then found my way to a street at the bottom of a large grass covered hill.  Michael drove up to me in a tour bus.  I spoke to him for a minute and he began to drive up the hill to turn around.  I was standing with a large crowd of people who were watching the bus (and I guess waiting for it to be pointed in the right direction).  Somehow the bus began to flip sideways and then crashed into a power pole and the line came down on the bus.  I started screaming as I watched Michael convulse and crawl his way to the door.  The nightmare ended with Michael staring at me lying flat on the ground looking for me to help him while I approached and screamed “Michael! Michael!”  I woke up crying and holding Michael next to me in bed.